“When we’re just emitting positivity, we are putting too much pressure on ourselves to be anything other than an authentic human being. For me, it was looking closely at the negative emotions that surrounded a … All rights reserved. It is creating your unhappiness. For me, it was looking closely at the negative emotions that surrounded a work problem that helped me move forward. Accepting negative emotions rather than dismissing them is better for you in the long run,” says Fagan. It may lead you to bottle up your feelings and not share when things are difficult. Through awareness, you will discover more than 80% of your thoughts are automatic. We can accept them as just a part of life. “Using these periods of negativity is actually how we learn to improve ourselves. Do you believe you choose to be unhappy? Negative thinking actually holds benefits that can help us move forward in life. Helen Dillon, life and careers coach and founder of Your Path Coaching, agrees that too much positivity isn’t necessarily a good thing. This book will definitely open your mind and change how you think. Victoria lists coffee, cocktails, and the color pink among some of her favorite things. I'm Not Religious, but I Use Prayer to Support My Mental Health, Courtney Sullivan, Certified Yoga Instructor, The Mental Health Effects of Being Constantly Online, How I Ditched the Social Media Spiral in 3 Simple Steps, The Mood-Boosting Benefits of Color Therapy. I allowed myself to vent to friends when normally I might force a smile. It’s how we can better understand our strengths when we are faced with challenges that make us dig deep within ourselves to overcome those difficulties,” she says. “Life is never straight forward; it often throws curveballs at us, like losing one’s job or suffering a period of ill health… Positivity is a good mindset to have, but embracing the negative moments in our lives is what keeps us real.”. Instead, I accepted the negative emotions I was feeling and gave myself the space to investigate them. Once we give ourselves the space for this reflection, we’re able to work out a solution. It is very important to understand this concept! Look on the bright side. You took a risk and tried something. If you believe in the power of positive thinking, chances are good you already experience joy, happiness and success in your life. It goes deeper than just feeling good. Any negative feelings just get pushed down and sent to denial,” says Fagan. Accept the obvious fact that life will never be perfect. On the Home Page, I placed the quote from Einstein “It is a sign of insanity when we repeat the same things over and over and expect different results.” Yet, we have all been repeating the same thoughts from the past, while simultaneously expecting our lives to improve and change. Critical thinking is using negative, fear based thoughts that block your energy and stop you from taking action. I really believe that we should be celebrating failure, as it teaches us so much; how to improve, develop, learn and grow.”. When you change how you think and the quality of what you think, you will automatically change the quality of your achievements. You will not be able to snap your fingers and instantly have conscious control of your critical thinking. Dangerous; hazardous. Fear based thoughts create worry, stress, anxiety, depression and ill-health - in other words, all of the emotional garbage. (This was explained in Step One). The more you do this, the easier it gets. In addition to cognitive restructuring, another aspect of CBT that is … “A range of emotions helps us regulate our stress response, which actually means a healthier immune system. If you have ever wished for an instruction manual on “how to change your life” or a road map to show you “how to get from where you are now to where you want to be” I am providing it to you here for free. It therefore makes sense to take this critical thinking off auto pilot, become consciously aware and change your thoughts. Intrusive negative thoughts can be a symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) or another mental health condition.